I THINK IM PASSING HISTORY CLASS WITH A D BUT IDK YET. I THINK I DO THOUGH IDK MY HEAD ISSPINNING RLLY FAST BUT I THINK THAT I WILL BE OK YES YAY YES 👍. IT IS THE VERY LAST DAY OF SCHOOL TMMR AND I THINK THAT I WILL BE OKAY BC MY HISTORY TEACHER SAID THAT HE DOES NOT ALLOW HIMSELF TO GIVE HIS STUDENTS FAILED GRADES BECAUSE WE ARE HIS CHILDREN YES.
ok so ive been putting off this site for a WHILE now and i honestly have 0 excuse for it lol. the lack of motivations rlly hitting me hard and my brains been spinning me in all sorts of directions. i dont even remember the past week too well.
(edit: literally said i dont have an excuse and then said excuses)
i just came home from school. im starting to think about what would happen if i didnt just ruin it all at the start of the year. i had a life. i had a healthy balance of friends and school life. what am i doing to myself.
today was weird. i was just a walking a shit ton, and i was kinda terrible at masking today too (as in autism masking). maybe its cuz im tired. i feel terrible- and gross?? idk. but yea no im really fucking tired. and i have other things to write but im saving that for the physical diary.
i decided to stay home from school today. idk why? mental health thing? maybe? idfk but anyways im writing an essay on alice wu, the director of my favorite movie, "the half of it", and i have like, no fucking idea how to write it. im just spacing out and keep unconsciously shifting my attention to other funny little internet goblin-traps. It's funny, because im good at articulating, but im not. i dont even know why. i used to say writing or typing it out was easier but i cant even write a stupid essay about my favorite director. but im perfectly writing about whats happening in my brain. but actually no it makes sense. i know myself, but i dont know alice. im not the type to rlly pay attention to movies. i do, but i dont. i dont rlly theorize movies i find amazing. i just kinda let the movies happen. the last time i rlly theorized anything in a movie is when i watched jennifer's body. and i hate jennifer's body.